14 January 2012

What The Toilet Seat Says About Women


I've been thinking about this for a while, and I've had another flash of insight; I've had another 'eureka!' moment.  What's that, you ask?  What the toilet seat says about women.  It says a lot, actually.  What does it say about women?

The toilet seat is living proof that women will complain about anything and everything.  The toilet seat shows us that women cannot and will not accept responsibility for themselves.  The toilet seat shows us that women have no perspective about anything.  The toilet seat is living proof of the eternal solipsism of the female mind.  The toilet seat provides empirical evidence that, no matter what or how much they get, women will never be happy.  Finally, the toilet seat shows us that women are spoiled, entitled brats.

One, it says women will complain about anything-anything!  Women can't be happy; they won't allow themselves to be happy; if they have nothing to complain about, by golly, they'll invent something to complain about.  In spite of all that they should be thankful for, women aren't thankful at all; they have no gratitude whatsoever.  Why?  Because they bitch and moan about the toilet seat, that's why!

Two, it says that women cannot and will not accept responsibility for themselves or their actions.  Rather than look down, assess the condition of the seat, and make any needed adjustment to the seat prior to sitting down; women would rather blame a man for the fact that she sat down without looking first.  Waaaaaahhh, it's all the man's fault-waaaaaahhhh!

Three, it says that women have no sense of perspective whatsoever.  Of all the problems in the world; of all the things going on worthy of concern; of all the things they can and should be thankful for; women complain about the freaking toilet seat?!  Come on!

Four, the toilet seat is proof positive that women are childish, immature beings whose mental and emotional maturity never progresses beyond the teenage level.  Who else besides an immature, spoiled child would make a complaint like that?  Who else would absolve themselves of any and all responsibility for themselves other than women?  The toilet seat is living proof of the eternal solipsism of the female mind.

Five, it says that no matter how much women get, they won't be happy.  Have they changed society in their image?  Yes.  Do they get preferences in college admissions?  Yes, they do.  Do they get preference in employment hiring decisions?  They most definitely do!  I saw inferior (in terms of grades, accomplishments, etc.) female classmates get better jobs than I and other men in our STEM program did.  Do females get preference in promotion decisions?  Oh, yes they do!  When I worked in Whoreporate America, every position of power (other than the division head) in my office was occupied by a woman.  Women have gotten everything they said that they wanted over the last few decades, yet they aren't happy; they still find something to bitch and moan about: the toilet seat.

Six, it says that women are entitled; it says that they expect someone else (i.e. men) do everything for them.  Rather than put the seat down themselves, they expect a MAN to do it for them.  WTF?!  Whatever happened to sisters doing it for themselves?  Whatever happened to women not needing a stinkin' man?  Whatever happened to women needing men like fish need bicycles?  If those statements are true, then WHY do women need men to put the toilet seat down for them, hmmm?

You know what's sobering?  We gave these creatures the right to vote!  Yes, that's right; we gave these childish, immature, spoiled brats the right to decide who has power over us, to decide OUR futures.  With the way women handle the toilet seat issue and what it says about them, is it any wonder why they were denied the vote?!

In closing, the toilet seat gives us insight into women and their natures.  One, women will complain about everything; for them, complaining is as natural as breathing.  Two, the toilet seat shows us women are incapable of accepting responsibility for themselves.  Three, the toilet seat shows us women have no perspective whatsoever, and they have no perspective about anything at all.  Four, the toilet seat shows us that women are childish, immature beings who are incapable of acting like adults.  Five, the toilet seat provides us proof that women cannot and will not allow themselves to be happy; if they have nothing to be unhappy about it, then they'll find something to be unhappy about.  Finally, the toilet seat shows us that women are entitled, spoiled brats who expect someone else to do things for them-so much for sisters doin' it for themselves.  The toilet seat shows us what women are REALLY like, and it ain't sugar and spice and everything nice.  Until next time...



Anonymous said...

I knew someone who used to be a night security guard in a shopping mall, and when he did his rounds, he would lift up all the toilet seats in the women's washroom. He knew that would annoy more than a few women. I also knew a custodian in another mall and he stated that the women's washroom was way more filthy than the men's washroom.

Anonymous said...

I had a buddy from 1956, till, well, till now. A woman.

Years ago, she worked in our company as a janitor and she said she hated to clean the woman's restrooms, because they were dangerously filthy. Things like used sanitary pads tossed on the floor.

She said the men's rooms might have some spilled water, and this muddy tracks from shoes getting wet. But, that was about it.

Yet, on an MRA board, a man who claims he runs a janitorial service said the men's rooms are much dirtier. I believe my buddy. In 55 years she has never yet lied to me.

Anonymous age 69

Anonymous said...

My friend worked at Costco as a janitor. He says the women's restroom was much dirtier. He also said they would try to haggle or argue their way into a restroom when it was closed for cleaning.

cecilhenry said...

If you find women getting upset about the toilet seat being up do what I do:

Just duct tape the seat to the cover seat and let that give them a rise.

The reaction is priceless-- also very revealing about the childish mind of most women.

Dulantha said...

There is nothing to be surprised about that women are behaving like that.

Howard Beale said...

Allowing females to vote is akin to allowing children to vote.

Anonymous said...

So true.
I always thought how stupid for women to whine about the seat being up. Its so easy to put it down especially when they are on their way down. Besides I thought they did'nt like it when we missed and splashed on the seat.
Modern women truly are the most spoiled and clueless creatures on the planet.

Anonymous said...

As a woman, I do this as a matter of principle when I use the restroom. I can't believe ppl really blow a gasket about this... so I do my part and lift seats up when leaving the loo.

Anonymous said...

It only seems fair, you guys lift it to pee, we lower to pee. One move each.

also: don't let a woman bitch about piss on the seat - I've been in too many loos where it looked like a tomcat sprayed the seat... or maybe it was a monkey swinging from the light fixture while having a pee... either way, somebody wasn't taught: "if you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be a sweetie & wipe up the seat-y"!!!

I've always been a dude-chick/tomboy, but this kinda shit makes me hate my gender...

Anonymous said...

sorry I came late to this party, but I had to google if some chic was mental or not because she caught me lifting loo seats on the way out - after her drunk ass fell in from sitting before looking (how stoopid is that?!?!)
I always thought it was a joke, or an urban-legend...
f*%@ me! this is real?!?!?! woww.

love the comments btw! cheers!!!