04 January 2012

Controlling Lust: Part III


Here's Part III of F&S's "Controlling Lust" series.


Dealing with Beautiful Women in General

Now that we understand the components of lust, let us turn our attention to some techniques a man can use to defuse his lust and reassert control over his own desires. The following techniques deal with the object of desire, the beautiful woman that comes into our presence either physically or mentally. The underlying approach is to place the object of desire in a harsher light than to which we are accustomed.

The Cold Eye

The Cold Eye technique is crude but effective: don’t look at a beautiful woman any longer than you would look at another person. You are not deliberately averting your eyes all the time, but neither are you staring at women the way a cheetah does a baby antelope. Basically, the idea is not to feed your arousal any more than the opportunity permits. This technique is especially helpful in dealing with media images of beautiful women. If you catch a glimpse of a gorgeous model on a billboard, for instance, don’t dwell on it. Move on. Why? Because there is nothing to see. Pretty women are a dime a dozen, and you should never forget that.

Undress the Beauty

Instead of undressing a woman’s body in your mind, you should undress her beauty. In other words, stop thinking about how good she looks, and put a more realistic spin on her womanhood. There are several aspects of women that you can choose to dwell upon in a critical fashion:

1. Sexual History: If a woman is scantily clad, then that’s all the more reason for you to reflect on her low morals and the possibility of her being involved in a promiscuous lifestyle. Contemplate yourself being cuckolded by a woman like her or catching STDs from her. Imagine some low-life freak sticking his tongue in her face, and imagine her enjoying it.

2. Intelligence: Many pretty women have never bothered to apply themselves intellectually. Imagine the torment you might face of trying to carry on a conversation with a beautiful woman you see. Imagine the disappointment you might feel when you realize she is shallow in her thinking and behavior.

3. Emotional Stability: Physically attractive women can be neurotic just like everyone else. How would you like to live with an emotionally disturbed person on a daily basis? Consider that a lot of women in the sex industry have a drug habit, have eating disorders, have been in abusive relationships, have illegitimate kids, etc. Think about these things the next time you see a pin-up girl.

4. Materialism: So many women are mercenary in their relationships. They don’t care about you as a person. Power and status are their real lovers. So, imagine the apple of your eye telling you in nasal tone that you are a loser and that you don’t have what she wants (i.e., money).

5. Attention-Seeking Behavior: Consider that your beloved most likely has a large ego and thrives on the attention men give her. She has no plans for giving you what you desire. She got what she want and most likely does not care that you have been left frustrated on the sidelines.

5. Hateful Behavior: Consider that a beautiful woman may have a degree of hostility towards men. She may be a feminist, or consider herself a victim of “Patriarchy.” She might be the kind of person that cuts you off from your friends, hobbies, and dreams. Consider the idea of her bankrupting you in divorce court. Imagine her being abusive emotionally or physically.

6. Physical Beauty: Addressing this factor is going for the jugular. Think about the biological processes that women start go though as the years progress. Their skin wrinkles, they start to retain body fat, etc. They age faster than men! One day, you will look around and wonder where the elitist princesses of your generation went. All you will notice are dumpy looking ladies with terrible personalities. The change starts happening after the age of 35. Do you still want to pin your future and self-worth as a man on something as transitory as the way a woman looks?

When you start thinking intently and critically on one or more of these characteristics, you will most likely feel your desire wane. You will notice that the beautiful woman you see doesn’t seem so sublime anymore. Her stature in your mind shrivels up and shrinks in importance.

The Disintegration Button

Whenever the image of an attractive woman enters your mind, reflect on how she is hurting you by causing the physical discomfort and mental distress associated with sexual tension. After all, she arouses you, but refuses to makes herself available for the physical and emotional intimacy you desire. You should consider her as being no better than a tease and thus not worthy of existing in your mind. Imagine yourself pushing a disintegration button and envision her body being atomized into a billion pixels.

Male Super-Hero vs. Female Sex Villain

This technique will likely sound hilarious to many readers, and yet it can serve as some comic relief for the tension you may feel in a given circumstance. Imagine you are the representative of men everywhere, pitted in a battle between the sexes. You are not going to allow feminists and other women who don’t respect men to reduce guys to useful idiots. Therefore, when approached by a female, you should see yourself as having special abilities in resisting the beauty emanating from her body. In your mind, imagine her special powers of seduction and beguilement melting away in the presence of your masculinity. Imagine yourself blasting her into the next star system with your Ion Beam of Male Indifference!

Dealing with a Beautiful Friend

The aforementioned techniques are effective for dealing with beautiful women we don’t know. However, additional caution is needed when dealing with woman we do know. In such a case, you cannot afford to get aroused by a female friend’s body if you cannot afford the fallout of losing the ability to think.

There are several potential pitfalls in personally interacting with a beautiful woman. If she befriends you, it may be because she wants to take advantage of you. Even if she is sincerely affectionate towards you, her feelings may nonetheless change later on. You both may end up assuming things about each other, only to find yourselves disappointed. Also, she may be have a limitation of how intimate she wants to be with you; maybe she sees you just as a friend.

Another thing to keep in mind that sexual arousal is like alcohol. It impairs your judgment. Let’s expand the analogy further: People often take precautions if they know they are going to drink socially. They may even appoint someone as a “designated driver” to bring them home from some public event. In the same fashion, you need to be aware of your surroundings and who your with not before you choose to have sex, but before you choose to succumb to your arousal!

You must continually remind yourself that arousal is dangerous around a woman that has not completely divulged to you who she is as a person. Men should not trust their sexuality to women who have not demonstrated they will give him a steady and reliable source of love, compassion, and assistance. Don’t allow your male ego to fool you into thinking you can flirt with disaster. Really, it is a simple thing to just keep women as friends or acquaintances only, leaving romance out of the picture. You only need to look at married men to realize that it is often easier to live without a woman than it is to live with one.

Have a Plan

If you insist on being open to the prospects of an intimate relationship with a woman, you will need to have a plan for how such a woman might fit into your life. Perhaps it is in your best interest to move abroad to meet women. You might want to consider more traditional societies where men are still respected as human beings and are valued for their contribution to their communities. At any rate, whether you seek a foreign wife or a woman in your own culture, decide beforehand on how you are going to handle women who are attracted to you. Stick to your principles.

It is best to do a cost-benefit analysis of the various scenarios which are likely to arise when approaching attractive women. You must decide under which circumstances you will allow yourself to become vulnerable. In other circumstances, you must be resolved to turn off your sex drive. This is part and parcel of exercising complete control over your sexuality.

Have Standards She Has to Meet

Do not think of any woman as a potential mate unless you have resolved the following issues regarding her…

1. Does she go out of the way to assist you in some meaningful fashion? Does she come over to your place and cook for you? Does she take you out to eat? Does she lend you money, help you clean up a house, etc.? Remember she must show she is a real friend prior to any relationship. Talking sweetly to you, brushing up against you, hugging you, throw her arms around you, fluffing her hair, batting her eyes, etc. doesn’t count. If she is flirting with you before being demonstrating that she is a real friend, then she is trying to control you through your sexual appetite. Avoid her.

2. Would she be a good wife or mother of your children? You should ask yourself this because many women are not content with casual, short-term relationships. Many want you to commit. Would she be the kind of woman you would want to embrace after she turns wrinkled and gray?

3. Does she have a good reputation among friends, family members, and other people that you both know? Remember, people can change, so does she have a bedrock foundation of integrity and loyalty? Are their any disturbing qualities that you notice? Be honest with yourself and don’t overlook them. It doesn’t matter how charming her personality is initially. Drop her if she shows signs of being an evil flake. Your better being alone than being with her. Trust me on that.

4. What other essential qualities do you look for in your mate? What about your personal beliefs? You better determine all your essential criteria before talking to women.

As harsh as it sounds, your presupposition should be that when it comes to relationships, women are guilty until proven innocent. Why? Because quite frankly, a statistically significant amount of them are screwing up men’s lives, and society now often excuses bad behavior in women while still punishing men. The gratification of your sexual desire is not worth this price.

Just Say No

If a woman you know tries to push you into intimacy with her before you are prepared, refuse her advances. Tell her up front that you do not want a relationship with anyone you do not know well. If she gets angry, pesters you, questions your manhood, becomes critical, or engages in some other form of inappropriate behavior, then she has done you a favor by revealing what kind of woman she is. In that case, dump her.

In Case of An Emergency

There might be some instances where you find yourself unexpectedly aroused by a woman that you know. If you get aroused by a female friend, but want to reassert control over your feelings, then remember to use some of the techniques mentioned earlier. For instance, you can undress her beauty in your mind by reflecting on the kind of woman she might really be. Another option is to just get away from her. It sounds drastic, but remember that your friendship with her is not worth the cost of you losing your mind and doing something you’ll later regret. After all, you can live happily without women.

Sometimes a woman you know may enter your mind and cause you to become aroused. One way to defuse the tension is to think of the image in your brain as an evil impostor trying to destroy your peace of mind. Since the imposter is not the real woman, you can mentally disintegrate it.

If She’s Already Taken

There are times when you might find yourself aroused by an attractive woman already in a relationship with another man. You need not be the lamb lead to the slaughter. In such a case, simply imagine her significant other seeing you naked and him knowing what you are thinking about his woman!


What did I tell you? Is that good stuff, or what?! Thank you to Faith & Society for leaving these pearls of wisdom up!



Anonymous said...

The inexperienced little boy who is writing all of these control your lust pieces couldn't be more wrong. Obviously some loser who has never had any success with women but yet still can't control himself. Experienced men don't have to read crap like this from some doofus because we understand females perfectly after having shagged a 100 of them and don't get a hardon like this little boy everytime we see one. This boy obviously has some defect that made him a reject in a female's eyes and is so bitter about it that he spends him time trying to justify it by writing childish crap.He wants to make it look like he's rejecting females when in fact it's he who is the reject. Probably some ugly nerd, fat guy, short guy or poor guy who looks like he buys his clothes at Walmart.

Anonymous said...

This is superb advice that every male should be taught and reminded of no matter his age.

I formulated my own concoction of female-antidotes similar to the advice given here (mainly "The Cold Eye" and "Undress the Beauty" parts) that I have been practicing since age 14.

I can say for certain that, when combined with a strong sense of Christian morality, it works! Females will cease to hold any tantalizing power over you.

As a result, I have never wanted to date or marry and never did. Why? Because these strategies force you to look beyond the cute lil' pout and force you to focus upon and evaluate a female's character...and there is very little of that.

Strip away the alluringly pretty face, and what's left? Almost 99.9999% of the females I have observed have turned out to be flawed in deal-breaking ways upon removing physical appearance from the equation. They lose their appeal, and there is nothing of substance behind the facade.

Time and time again, points #1, #3, and #4 from "Undress the Beauty" have always surfaced. Time always discloses the truth. Watch a female long enough, and you see what she is really like when she does not need to impress anyone. Her "secret history" surfaces. The female-superior attitude surfaces.

From my observations after following this advice, I have drawn a few conclusions about females:

1) The prettier the face, the more men she has "conquered" and the uglier the heart. The more of a spoiled entitlement princess she is.

2) By the time you notice her, she has already been taken (in every way imaginable). She already has somebody who is willing to tolerate her.

3) A female does not approach you by her own free will unless she wants something out of you.

The article's advice is good news for men, because it points out warning signs to look for so we can avoid poor choices regarding females.

After all, you had better look at her character and beliefs in favor of her appearance because as she ages, her looks deteriorate to the point where has has nothing left but her character and beliefs.

Is a lifetime of nagging from a contentious, "18-and-holding" female worth the titillation of her fleeting youth?

Remember, that cute lil' pout will become a wrinkled scowl when her looks are gone.

Anonymous said...

Great article, but how many men will truly take this advice to heart and practice it in today's morally bankrupt, "God is dead," "It's all about me" culture?

Too many hormonally-driven males without a moral compass are too eager to pass the baby gravy.

The idea of controlling lust is a foreign concept to most men and women who despise and rebel against any form of advice or religious teaching that might tell them to save it for marriage or not at all.

It seems the only men (both young and old) who truly grasp and understand the importance of controlling lust are those who are

1) Perceptive enough at an early age to see the value and guide his life with tenacity.

2) Have a strong religious, moral background.

3) Have already been through the horrors of divorce court firsthand and are suffering the realities of unjust laws and promiscuous diseases.

On the bright side, this excellent advice might spare a bright yet curious young man's life from fickle, female doom.

Anonymous said...

Practice "The Cold Eye" for 20+ years and it becomes a natural habit.

It seems to annoy females when I refuse to stop in my tracks and oogle like dodo. It conveys the message, "You just don't have it." Especially the ones who are pretty and know it.

I receive "The Cold Eye" all the time from females. Partly, because this is how strangers behave, and Mommy always told us not to talk to strangers.

Often, you cannot help who might be around you, so looking at others is unavoidable.

Men often smile, nod, and politely greet each other even if they are strangers. I rarely get "The Cold Eye" from a fellow man. In fact, we often end up telling jokes and wishing each other a good day!

But with females...I might as well be glancing at an ice cube. At least an ice cube serves a useful purpose without scowling back you.

You would think that they think that all men are rap...oh, wait.

After years of receiving "female ice cube treatment," I have no problem dishing it out to them, and boy, does that seem to make them mad.

You know. The silent pout. The slight scowl of the eyebrows. The perturbed twist of the head that says, "How could he do that to ME!"

This is especially effective now when I am rather good-looking at the age where women's appearances are deteriorating years ahead of their time.

Anonymous said...

Have Standards She Has to Meet

I wholeheartedly agree and have standards myself.

Standards based upon character. Standards such as religion, truthfulness, chastity, gracefulness, prudence, self-restraint, good manners, and intelligent language. Standards that matter.

These have nothing to do with physical beauty, but they are standards that I value highly in myself and others. I live them, and I refuse to lower them or compromise in any way. These standards form the litmus test in evaluating females.

...as a result, I have no desire to marry.

Ping Jockey said...

One simple law of nature which the majority of women refuse to acknowledge is that they will age and their beauty will fade until they don't have it anymore. When that happens, all that they will be known for and judged by will be their eithics, character and morals -- just like men, ironically (how's that for 'equality'?).
Since the majority of us men are not judged purely by our looks alone (unlike women), we have learned the importance of behavioral traits -- personal character, ethics, and morals (also known as 'honor', a unique term which seems to be applicable only to men).
It is extremely interesting and revealing how modern single women who have lost or are losing their beauty due to aging typically demand not to/object to be judged according to their past history as 'carousel riders', 'sluts', or 'whores', since these terms are indicators of typically 'low' personal character traits. (Observe the current movement in feminism to remove/deny the stigma from the formerly derogatory term of 'slut'.)
When a woman loses her looks, all she has left -- for good or ill -- are her personal character traits, morals and ethics.

"Amazing how bitches all suddenly "find themselves" and become born-again humans once their sex appeal fades and they are FORCED to live on their humanity alone..."
-- Anonymous

tiredofitall said...

Okay, Anonymous 1045 HAS to be someone posting as a joke right?

No way someone seriously writes a perfect score of fembot bingo in one post like that.

Anonymous said...

Tiredofitall, that's a possibility. Or perhaps anon 10:45 isn't attracted to the opposite sex.

Anonymous said...

anon 10:45 IS the opposite sex, according to the gender genie. Never graze upon the blogs of MRA's without the genie at your elbow. Women are dreadfully deceitful and call themselves men so their comments may drive a wedge between us brothers.