This is the final part of the "Controlling Lust" series. Man, this stuff is golden! This is the kind of thing we ought to be taught by our parents, or learn in school and/or church. This is far better and far more useful than anything you'll find in the Lamestream Media, that's for sure...
So far, we have covered techniques for controlling lust which deal with the object of desire. We learned how we, as men, can keep ourselves from throwing more gasoline on the flame of passion. With the following strategies, we can control the general feelings of sexual arousal that may come on us suddenly and unexpectedly. Remember, we want to attack lust on both fronts. In addition to stopping ourselves from throwing gasoline on the fire, we want to put the fire itself out.
If a man wants to control his sexuality, the primary obstacle he must overcome is fear. Perish the thought that you cannot control yourself! Don’t think that God gives you desires against your will. Forget the idea you will inevitably harm yourself if you don’t relieve your sexual tension. All these notions are false! When you are aroused, you should remind yourself that the arousal will eventually subside. If you persist, you can gain the ability to shut off your arousal at will.
Also, stop listening to people around you that say you are missing out on life if you don’t get lucky in love. Don’t listen to people who think your manhood depends on scoring with women. These people cannot discern the difference between bravery and stupidity. These people may talk a good talk about “being a man” and “taking risks” but these are the same ones that get skewered alive in the end. In actuality, they are often afraid of being alone and end up jumping from the frying pan into the fire. Keep these people from driving you insane: take the steering wheel away from them.
Channeling the Tension
How can you, as a man, regain control of yourself if you find that you are sexually aroused? Simple. Close your eyes, clear your mind of troublesome thoughts, and take several deep breaths. Imagine the sexual tension moving away from your reproductive organs and the power of the tension dissipating throughout the rest of your body. If thinking about this draws your mind back towards sex, however, then just focus on closing your eyes and breathing deeply. Assure yourself that you are the master of your body. After all, you are a man with free will, not a male bovine. As the physical tension subsides, you may notice that you feel more energized. However, it may be just as likely that you will feel totally relaxed with your mind uncluttered by sexual desires. It can indeed be exhilirating as you realize that you are no longer a pawn of female sexuality.
Get Out of Bed
You will find that there are certain circumstances that leave you vulnerable to feelings of arousal. Make it easy on yourself by avoiding these circumstances if possible. For instance, you may find that you are often aroused while lying in bed. Perhaps in such a moment of idleness, thoughts of sex come too easily to you. Get out of bed, channel the tension until it subsides, and only return to bed when you are tired enough to fall asleep.
More generally, make sure to preoccupy yourself with your responsibilities and things that you like to do. Never allow yourself to get bored. You owe it to yourself to live a proactive and productive life.
In addition to the above techniques, it is helpful to think about the costs of giving in to your desires. Think about the shame, sadness, and sense of disappointment you will feel if you turn your back on your goal for self-control. You should see any unwanted arousal on your part as not as a nice feeling, but as a competitor or even an adversary. It is an impediment to your goal for greater male self-esteem and for a greater sense of dignity. Use your indignation at being a slave of female sexuality to give you focus and power in this matter.
As we can see, by dealing with the object of desire and with the general feeling of arousal, you, as a man, can control your lust. From time to time, sexual arousal may be a minor nuisance, but ideally it will not overcome you as it has probably often done in the past. You will feel no compelling necessity to invest time or money for female companionship unless it benefits you in some meaningful fashion. You can take or leave women, and you just might decide to leave them.
As you practice self-control, remember the old adage: “If at first you don’t succed, try, try again.” Also, remember that when you give in to your desires, you are still making a choice. The choice can be an informed one or it can be based on delusional thinking. It’s up to you.
How will others react to this plan for controlling lust? Who cares. Social conservatives have browbeaten us men for so long, demanding that we be chaste and self-controlled. Social liberals plaintively demand that we stop sexually objectifying women and/or stop basing our manhood on sexual conquest. Perhaps, it is time to give these people and so many others a taste of their own medicine. Men do not necessarily have to rely on the help of other people to achieve their goal of sexual self-control. Men do not even have to be religious to understand the value of learning continence. Rather than being beggars whining for a scrap of bread, men can control their hunger and therefore set terms for when they want to eat. Indeed, when it comes to sexual self-control, men can turn their back on the overpriced delicacies that society shoves in their face and go their own way.
Yes, Fellas, thanks to the wisdom that Faith & Society left up for us, we now have the tools to CONTROL our sexual appetites; we now have what we need to take away a woman's "nuclear option"-yes! We have the tools to be real men, and control ourselves. Thank you.