Here's yet another double standard women practice; here's yet another example of female hypocrisy: female sex tourism. Female sex tourism shows other things about women too, things I'll discuss in this article.
Women who travel for sex: Sun, sea and gigolos
The men are young, gorgeous and up for it. No wonder Western women see a Third World holiday as the gateway to casual sex - sometimes in exchange for cash. But as a new film highlights female sex tourism, Liz Hoggard asks who really pays the price
Sunday, 9 July 2006
An attractive woman sips a cocktail under a bamboo shade. The sand is dazzlingly white, the sea aquamarine. A handsome young man approaches her and showers her with compliments: she is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen, he says. For the first time in years, she truly believes she is desirable.
But this holiday romance is not all it seems. The woman is white, in her late 50s; the man, black, 18 - and paid for his attentions. The scene - from the controversial new French film, Heading South, which opened this weekend, starring Charlotte Rampling, makes us confront uncomfortable truths about sexuality in a globalised world, and the legacy of colonialism.
If this whore is in her late 50s, then she's WELL past her expiration date! Sorry, but any woman in her late 50s is NOT attractive-not in the conventional sense anyway. She may look good for her age, but she's not going to give me or any other straight guy an instant erection. That's the test of a woman's attractiveness: does she give a guy an immediate, primal boner? If not, then she's NOT attractive-end of story.
In the film, an intelligent, provocative take on sex tourism in the late-1970s, Rampling plays Ellen, an American professor, who spends every summer at a private resort in Haiti, where beautiful, muscled black boys are available to the female clientele, mostly affluent single women in their forties, who despair of finding mates through more conventional means. "More than sex, they are seeking a tenderness that the world is refusing them," the film's director, Laurence Cantet, explains.
Why is the world refusing these damsels' tenderness, hmmm? What do we know about these damsels? One, we know that they're toxic, feminist, man hating career bitches from the West. Two, we know that they're in their 40s and 50s. Three, we know that either these women rode the cock carousel when they were younger; or they were married to decent men and got bored during their marriage. Why would any decent, thinking man want to be with toxic women such as these? Can anyone answer that?
Fast-forward 30 years, and the reality of sex tourism is anything but tender. Today beach resorts in developing countries such as Kuta in Bali, Negril in Jamaica and Boca Chica and Sosua in the Dominican Republic have become Third World pick-up spots for women tourists. Tour companies even market package deals as sex holidays for single and unaccompanied women. Forget Shirley Valentine, these women - who range from grandmothers to teens - don't want a long-term relationship. And there's plenty of live flesh on sale.
This is revealing. If men engage in sex tourism, then it's disgusting, perverted, sick, creepy, etc. Ever see what women say about men who vacation in Thailand? Ah, but when women do it, it's all right. Not only that, it's empowering and uplifiting for the women who do it. The above paragraph says that tour companies even MARKET sex tours to women! Could you imagine the outcry if there were tour companies marketing sex tours to men?
Take Jamaica, where 17 per cent of the population lives below the poverty line. Hustling on the beach is the only way that some young men can feed themselves and their families. No wonder they choose older women who pay better than younger ones. In Negril, the men can earn $100 (£60) for sex with a female tourist, £90 for oral sex, which Jamaican men usually regard as taboo. Many others are hired as a guide to the island and throw in sexual services, often just for as meal or a place to sleep.
And Jamaica is a TOTAL matriarchy-total matriarchy! Women have their precious autonomy; they don't need men; they are indeed superior to them, but at what cost? They cannot go out at night at all, because it's too dangerous. For example, if women want to see a movie or play, then they have to: 1) do so during the day and return home before dark; 2) go with a group of their fellow sisters. Patriarchy=prosperity and civilization, whereas matriarchy=misery, poverty, and anarchy. It's always been that way, and it always will be that way.
The definition of a sex tourist is an adult who travels in order to have legal consensual sexual relations with another adult, often for the exchange of money or presents. We still assume that a sex tourist will be male - indeed many regard the relationship between beach boy and female tourist as harmless fun. The woman gets guilt-free sex while keeping a firm hold on the purse strings. Where's the harm?
Here's proof positive of what I was talking about above. With women, sex tourism is 'harmless fun'. With men, it's sick, perverted, creepy, and disgusting. Note how the article subtly promotes this double standard. They say, "We still assume that a sex tourist will be male..."
Jane, 67, a divorcee, has spent the past 10 years holidaying in West Africa. She loves the climate and the people - and she especially loves the men. "They are so wonderfully flattering. They make you feel like a real woman. I don't mind paying for their drinks and meals if they stay the night." Divorced, with two grown-up sons, she explains, "White men my own age are so set in their ways; they just want another wife."
Uh, Jane, the African men make you feel good for one reason, and one reason only: money and gifts. That's it! If you weren't willing to offer those things to them, you can bet your bippy that they wouldn't stick around. I'm 49, and even I don't find 67 y/o women attractive-ick! You're just a shriveled up, old crone with the skin of a prune-if you look THAT good...
As for white men your age wanting wives, oh please. Can anyone say wishful thinking?!
Are men your own age set in their ways? Yes, they are. They're set in their ways for wanting kind women who can be decent, faithful, COMMITTED companions-duh! They want everything that you're not, everything your divorce shows us.
For others, this is exploitation pure and simple. Even where no money is exchanged, this sort of behaviour destabilises local communities and families. Ignorance and lack of concern about the abject poverty and lack of choice that characterises the men's lives leads the women to romanticise their actions. It is true that women sex tourists are still outnumbered by the legions of men who travel to Thailand and the Philippines for sex with prostitutes. Charities such as Amnesty and Unicef have no official policy on female sex tourism, preferring to focus on protecting trafficked women and children. Chris Beddoe, director of Ecpat UK, the children's rights organisation that campaigns against child sex tourism, believes: "If both adult partners are open and honest about what they're getting out of it, that's one thing. But it's another thing to continue the fantasy when there's a denial of the power that money brings to that relationship that creates a culture of dependency and exploitation.'
Ah, but don't tell our wonderful Western women that! Don't tell them that they're doing wrong. Don't you know that our wonderful, divine 'goddesses' can do no wrong? Okay, sarcasm is off.
Nirpal Dhaliwal, author of the recent novel, Tourism (which satirises older white women turned on by young brown flesh), takes a tougher view. "Women enjoy casual sex and prostitution, too, but with far more hypocrisy. They help themselves to men in the developing world, kidding themselves that it's a 'holiday romance' that has nothing to do with the money they spend. Go to any Jamaican beach and you'll find handsome 'rent-a-dreads', who get by servicing Western women - lots from Britain. I've seen similar things in Goa."
That's not a tougher view; it's a fairer, more unbiased view.
Next month a new play, Sugar Mummies, about the pleasures and perils of sex tourism opens at London's Royal Court Theatre. Set in the Jamaican beach resort of Negril, it centres on a group of British and American women, seeking sun sea, sand ... and uninhibited sex with a handsome stranger. Sexually frank and often very funny, the play doesn't pull its punches. The playwright, Tanika Gupta, travelled to Jamaica to research the subject first-hand, and says she was shocked to find how female tourists objectify the black male body. "A lot of women talk about how 'big' black men are and how they can go all night. It becomes such a myth that even the men now use it. There is this terrible mutual delusion going on. And you do find yourself thinking, 'We're not a million miles from slavery.'" The older female tourists even confided to Gupta that although Jamaica was lovely and laid-back, the Dominican Republic and Cuba were "dirt cheap". "You can go as young as you want in Cuba," one woman boasted.
You know what I think? I think that Miss Gupta, no doubt a Westernized (read feminist) woman of Indian descent, was shocked that her fellow 'goddesses' could be so perverted and so debauched. Waaaaahhhh-only MEN are that way! Women are pure, sweet, divine, angelic goddesses who wouldn't do that-waaaaaaahhhhh!
You know what else the above paragraph shows? It shows a couple of things, actually. One, it shows that women can be just as primal as men are on their sex tourist vacations. Two, it also shows the double standard WRT male and female sex tourists. Can you imagine the OUTCRY that would result if men were to talk about another, cheaper locale that would allow them to 'go as young as they want'? Why, it'd be a travesty! Yeah, but when a woman does it, it's okay; that's 'different', you know...
For all the talk of romance, the language of sex tourism is pretty basic. In Jamaica the men are called "beach boys" or "Rastatutes". The women are called milk bottles by the men - partly because of their ultra-white skin, partly because they are seen as vessels waiting to be filled.
You know why I think the local boys call the women milk bottles? Because they can't wait to milk 'em of their money, gifts, and so on. They're not vessels waiting to be filled; the women are easy marks waiting to be fleeced, or milked.
Another myth the play explodes is that sex tourism is only perpetrated by white women. In Jamaica, Gupta met many black American women hiring beach boys. "They might be going back to their roots, or feeling more powerful because they had money, but they were still buying the same services."
Eeeehhh, wrong! The reason why American black women are resorting to sex tourism is because no one here WANTS them! Talk about toxic; American black women make our white women look kind, virtuous, and feminine! Seriously, black women in America give new meaning to the phrase, 'toxic women'. Hell, they're so bad that the brothers here don't even want them!
Think about it, people. Women have it easy in the sexual market place; if they want to get laid, all they have to do is spread their legs. Ah, but black, American women are SO BAD that they can't even give it away to American men of any color-including their fellow black brothers! They have to resort to sex tourism to get laid. Doesn't that tell you anything?
In Bali, South-east Asia, Beddoes encountered wealthy Japanese women paying local boys for sex. The boys themselves claimed they found it less degrading because they saw the Japanese women as smaller and more childlike.
Japanese women are more feminine; they're nicer to look at; and, as a rule, Asian women age a lot better than their Western female counterparts.
Having said that though, what does it say about Japan and Japanese women when THEY have to resort to sex tourism to get sex? That's quite chilling when you think about it; it's quite chilling for a lot of reasons.
Gupta was inspired to write Sugar Mummies after reading the research by UK sociologists, Jacqueline Sanchez Taylor and Julia O'Connell into female sex tourism in the Caribbean. They decided to carry out their own research when they found that the usual analysis of sex tourism does not consider women as buyers of sexual services, because prostitute-users is seen as, by definition, male.
Ah, Jacqueline Sanchez Taylor-now THAT is a feminist if I ever saw one! Having said that, she and Miss O'Connell are at least HONEST sociologists, even if they're of a liberal (read socialist), politically correct persuasion. At least they realized that sex tourism wasn't just the province of men. I guess that that's a start to doing away with the double standard that's often applied to sex tourism.
They interviewed 240 women holidaying in Negril, and two similar resorts in the Dominican Republic. Almost a third said they had engaged in sexual relationships with local men. Though 60 per cent admitted to certain "economic elements" to their liaisons, they did not perceive their sexual encounters as a prostitute-client transaction. Instead they insisted they were helping the men, and the local economy, by giving them money and gifts. When asked to describe "boyfriends", most emphasised how for them black Jamaican men possessed bodies of great sexual value. One 42 year-old English woman who travelled at least three times a year to Boca Chica in the Dominican Republic said: "I'm not naïve. I've been around the block. I come for sex - of course the sun, but mostly the sex. I'm not coming to live and set up house with a guy. I just want some fun and good sex."
Well, Darlin', that begs the question: why can't you get good sex at home? Is it perhaps because local men do not WANT you? As a woman, you don't have to go across the ocean to have sex. All you have to do is signal to a man that you're willing, and spread your legs. That's it! So, why can't you find a willing man at home, hmmm?
"Female sex tourism is much more informal," says Sanchez Taylor, a lecturer in sociology at Leeds University. "It takes place in bars. There's no way for women to go into a brothel and say, 'I want a blow job.'
Oh stop it! Just stop it! Female sex tourism isn't less formal, Mrs. Taylor; it's just more subtle and indirect, like everything women say and do. When a guy goes to Thailand for vacation, he'll get a bar girl, pay her fee, and she'll stay with him for the agreed upon amount of time. During that time, she will 'service' the man and satisfy his needs-much better than women back home ever would, BTW. With men, it's like everything men do: simple, direct, and to the point. If a man goes to Thailand and hits Pattaya Beach, he's going there for ONE reason-sex.
When women engage in sex tourism, it's not quite as obvious, not quite as direct. They don't go to the men, pay X dollars (or pounds, as the case may be), and take him with them for X number of hours or days. No, they give them money; they buy them drinks; buy them clothes and other things; and provide a roof over their heads, all in exchange for sex. Now, pardon me, but if you're exchanging money and gifts for sex, doesn't that qualify for prostitution? If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, isn't it fair to say that we're looking at a duck here?
"Women who feel rejected by men in the West for being fatter and older -you know, 35, but they look 40 - find that in Jamaica all this is reversed," says Sanchez Taylor.
Thank you! Finally, we get the truth! These female sex tourists are so repulsive (and not just physically, either) that men back home don't want them. They can't GIVE sex away back home, and they can't give it away for a couple of good reasons: 1) they're fat, old, and ugly; 2) they're even UGLIER on the inside.
"There's a poetic lyricism to the gigolo's chat-up lines," agrees Gupta. "You very quickly understand why the women are buying this. On the first day, this baby aged 18 came to chat me up. At first I thought, this will be good for my play. But then he got a bit fast, so I suggested he move on to some younger women, And he said, 'Me no want the kitten, me want the cat.'"
And these repulsive, love starved Western women buy IN to the bullshit! Again, here's more evidence of why women weren't given power or rights; they can't HANDLE them. The fact that they fall for such BS is proof positive that they're incapable of handling power, responsibility or anything else. Women are only a step above children, and the fact that they fall for such BS lines proves it...
The problem comes, she says, when the women start believing the men they have hooked up with are in love with them. "They confuse what is actually a financial transaction with real love. If you have low self-esteem, if you've not had much luck, if you're older ... you are likely to be more susceptible," says Gupta.
Oh, please. Women fall for the BS because they want to. They fall for it because they're more gullible than men. As I've stated in other posts, there's a reason why the serpent targeted Eve in the Garden first, and that we'd do well to REMEMBER that...
If an older woman's self esteem is part of the equation, it's for this reason: they're past their expiration date; they're no longer young, hot, and desirable as they were in their 20s; they're no longer having droves of guys hit on them now that they're older, fatter, and uglier. These women are no longer the "cat's meow", and they can't HANDLE it-end of discussion.
Some women even marry their boyfriends and take them home to the UK, although few relationships survive the cultural difference. Jamica's most famous holiday romance has recently come crashing down. Female tourism boomed after Terry McMillan's hit novel, How Stella Got Her Groove Back was made into a Hollywood film. The novel, in which Stella, a divorced black woman in her forties, takes a holiday to Jamaica, where she meets and falls in love with Winston, a local man half her age - was a fictionalised account of McMillan's own marriage to Jeremy Plummer, 23 years her junior. This year, McMillan, 53, filed for divorce, claiming that the marriage was based on a "fraud'' because Plummer lied about his sexual orientation and married her only to gain US citizenship. He denies it.
Uh, the cultural difference has little or nothing to do with the demise of these 'romances'. No, the reason these relationships end is for one, simple reason: the guys got what they wanted: money, UK or USA citizenship, and a better life; they got everything from their girlfriend/wife that they set out to get, so they bailed.
It is a nasty twist that the countries where this sort of tourism is most rife are ex-slave colonies. Many are still dealing with the fallout of colonialism. All the hotels, restaurants, cars and glass-bottomed boats in Negril are owned by Americans. The urban economy doesn't even belong to the local people.
What goes unsaid is that this is because the local economy, at least in Jamaica, is matriarchal. Matriarchies NEVER bring prosperity-never! Ah, but we can't say that now, can we? If the feminists writing this article were to discuss that elephant in the room, They'd have to admit a truth that would KILL them: that patriarchy is superior to their beloved matriarchy. We can't point out that, if Jamaica were patriarchal, then it'd be more prosperous; it would be owned and operated by the local people, not outsiders. If you want to know what a matriarchy looks and feels like, then either go to nearest, inner city ghetto; or go to a place like Jamaica. You'll see matriarchy in all its unbridled 'glory'...
Yet the women who sleep with the beach boys insist they are helping race relations. They flatter themselves they have gone native. "In my play there's a scene where a white woman is taking about how she loves R&B and reggae and what she calls hip and hop," says Gupta.
Oh, stop it! Just stop it! This is just an example of the rationalization hamster going full speed. Western women and their hamsters know no bounds...
It is the female tourist who books the flights and determines the length of time she will spend with their boyfriend, as well as making day-to-day decisions when they are together, such as when and where they eat. One 21-year-old migrant from Haiti, who had been working in Sosua, told Sanchez Taylor that he even had to "snog" his tourist client despite a bad toothache and a swollen face. If he did not, he would not be able to afford the antibiotics to cure it.
So, let me get this straight: this chap had to do oral sex to his 'client' even though he had a bad toothache and a swollen face?! There's more of that female empathy in action-ha! What would happen if a man did something like that, hmm? Sorry, I can't help but ask a question begging to be asked...
You know, if it were man buying sex, he'd be called a "John"; he'd be mocked and reviled for doing something like this. How dare he! That begs another question: what do they call female buyers of sex? What name would we give them? After all, they're just like their male counterparts we call "Johns", right?
Oh, and why is it okay when a woman makes her gigolo do something he doesn't want to do (or, in this case, is painful to do, for obvious reasons)? Why is it wrong when a man does it? Why is it 'different' when a woman does it? I see hamster wheels a spinnin'...
In Sugar Mummies, Gupta deliberately allows herself one relationship that might just work. "I'm not saying anything about mixed race relationships, I'm talking about these specific kinds of sex-tourist relationships where women go out there specifically to have sex. It will probably backfire and a whole load more women will go off to Jamaica."
'Sugar Mummies' opens at the Royal Court, London SW1 on 5 August (020-7565 5000)
No strings: 'I wanted to do sex like a man'
Lucy, a 23-year-old events organiser from London, visited St Lucia this year with a friend
You wanted to do sex like a man? Oh, stop it! If you want to have debauched, promiscuous sex; if you want to nurture your inner slut; then you can do so at home quite easily-especially if you're 23!
The words "sex tourism" make me think of City boys who go to Thailand with their mates for seedy conquests to boast about. It's different for women. When they go abroad for sex, it's about wanting to feel special and escaping the boundaries at home.
Translation: at home, I can't act like a slut and preserve my reputation as a 'good girl' back home-gag a maggot! Theres' nothing good about you, Darlin', at least not as a wife candidate.
As for sex tourism being different for a woman, there's the rationalization hamster in action again. I can't define the phrase, 'rationalization hamster', but I know it when I see it-like in this instance. That hamster is running for all it's worth, isn't it?
You know something else, Darlin'? When guys go on vacations to Thailand, it's not to brag about seedy conquests-no, not at all. You know what guys who've vacationed there talk about? Meeting nice, FEMININE women who-gasp-treat them with a modicum of respect! They talk about a woman caring about his needs and meeting them; even if this were done for a price, it's the best experience he's ever had with a woman. Your typical, Anglosphere man never experienced that with the likes of you, Bitch! You and your Anglosphere sisters would rather DIE than even THINK about doing something nice for your man back home! You're the same chicks who, in 10-15 years time (the same time you're past your expiration date), will be bitching and moaning about the lack of good men-incredible...
Oh, and let me point out something else here: EVERY interaction a man has with a woman, especially if it involves sex, will cost him; one way or another, the man WILL pay to have access to her stink box. The only difference is that a whore lets the man know what the cost will be up front.
My friend and I decided to treat ourselves to a stay in a luxury hotel in St Lucia for 10 days of pure pampering - and ideally a sexual encounter. This was the first time I'd gone on holiday explicitly with this intention. I was keen to find a St Lucian man as I'd heard they were very well endowed. I had my eye on Sandi from my first day. He was a local working in the cocktail bar, in his early thirties, and was very handsome, muscular and toned with the perfect six-pack. We spent several evenings drinking, chatting and flirting in the bar.
There are very strict rules at the hotel about staff and guests so I knew I had to make the first move. I told him I was going for a walk on the beach - and we spent our first night together. It was very romantic.
Oh, please, spare me! You got played, Honey. This guy should stop by the seduction fora out there; sounds like this old boy could teach us a thing or two about bedding our hometown sluts...
This was totally different from how I'd behave at home. In London, taking a man home with you, there's always the fear that friends might see you, not to mention potential dangers or the hassle of waking up in your flat with a stranger. But on holiday the boundaries shift and you can behave totally differently. You have a tan, you feel gorgeous, you're treated like royalty - and everything is available and easy.
If you were at all gorgeous (especially on the inside, i.e. you had a decent personality); if you were even an average looking 23 year old woman; then you would have NO PROBLEM WHATSOEVER finding a decent man back home-none! Whether you want a LTR or a primal, one night stand, finding a man back home should be no problem; for a woman in her early 20s, all men are, as you put it, 'available and easy'. The fact that you can't find a man back home is rather telling, isn't it?
What's also telling is her comment about how 'the boundaries shift' while on holiday. What she really means is that, on holiday, she can nurture her inner slut; she can act like the slattern she is and face no shame for doing so.
Sandi and I had a great time. On his day off, he took us to a local street party. I paid for taxis, drinks and food. We needed his protection because St Lucian men had certain misconceptions about white women - although I probably wasn't helping.
St. Lucian men view Anglosphere women as they truly are: unbridled, debauched, amoral sluts. And no, my dear, you AREN'T helping to combat that perception...
You know what else just occurred to me? When women have a guy pay for things for them, they say he has no right to 'expect anything' (i.e. sex) in return. Ah, but when the women engage in similar behavior, they're doing it because they 'expect something in return'-duh! How did I miss that?!
When it came to leaving, I surprised myself by feeling quite gutted. I'd wanted to do sex without feelings, just like the men, but there was a definite trembling of the lips - for both of us. But as we flew home, my friend and I were very pleased with everything that had happened. I'm in a relationship at the moment but if I was single again I'd definitely go on that kind of holiday. Why not?
Why not nurture your inner slut at home and save yourself the money, Honey?
Ah, no matter how hard you try, you CAN'T 'have sex like a man', can you? You, as a woman, can't separate sex from love; for you, the two go together like hand in glove.
Around one in five British holidaymakers under the age of 25 is failing to practise safe sex while abroad, according to a study published this month by Trojan Condoms
This article was RIFE with examples of women's rationalization hamster in action, wasn't it? As I stated above, I can't give you anything close to a dictionary definition of the phrase; for me, it's like defining obscenity. Like obscenity, I know the rationalization hamster when I see it.
Women are indeed hypocrites. For example, they'll chastise a man for engaging in sex tourism, yet for women, it's different. Don't you just LOVE how they say that when you catch them in their inconsistencies? Don't you just love how they excuse their own hypocrisies? But I'm a woman; it's 'different'-yeah, sure.
That wraps up my commentary and analysis of this piece. The more I see of women, the less highly I think of them; the more I think about them and their natures, the less I think of them. A famous man once said that no man who has spent any time really THINKING about women has a high opinion of them. Until next time...