13 April 2013

Yet Another, Typical American Woman

Guys,

I saw this posting on Craig's List, and I knew my readers needed to see it. Here's yet another insight into the mind of a typical, brainwashed, feminazi, man-hating, American skank. What's sad is that this chick is from Oklahoma, which is in the Midwestern US; gals from the Midwest are thought to be of better quality than those found on the coasts. The attitude exhibited by this woman is all too typical...

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To the guy I slapped across the face in the bar... - w4m

Dear average-looking frat boy,

The image of your face when I slapped you (left-handed,too, because my drink was in my right), is one I won't soon forget.

My friend had gone to the bathroom, so when I felt a hand grab and slightly grope my ass, I had no reason to suspect that it was her who felt me up, rather than you, the innocent bystander.

I quickly turned over my shoulder and gave you a quizzical look, which you must have interpreted as come-hither, because you winked and gave me a knowing nod. Taking this as acknowledgment of "your" action, I slapped you. Hard.

This was the first time I had ever slapped anyone, and I immediately felt empowered and fully justified, having not relied on my boyfriend to stand up for my fragile female ego. Yay, feminism! This quickly turned to shock however, as I looked over at my friend, doubled over, red in the face and gasping for breath from laughing hysterically. Immediately putting two and two together, I turned to you, still standing with a very bewildered and increasingly angry look on your face. "Ohmygod, I'm so sorry-she..I.. I thought...", I struggled to apologize. "Get away from me, I don't know what's going on, get away you crazy bitch"... and then you backed up and ran away.

Can't say I blame the guy. If it had been me, I would have been tempted to make you wear my drink though...

I probably would have done the same thing, so I don't blame you for running away. I wanted to chase you and explain, but thought better of it for several reasons. I can only imagine the stories the next morning as your buddies rehashed the situation, still wondering why a random girl slapped you for no reason. At least now you (hopefully) know the reason.


Your reason is no reason at all; you're just trying to justify slapping the wrong guy.
 
I'm still sorry. Let me know, and I'll buy you a drink, at a safe distance, so you can be sure no violence will occur. I promise.

Sincerely,

The crazy girl who (somewhat accidently) slapped you across the face.


There was nothing accidental about what you did; it was completely intentional! Unfortunately, you're all too representative of the modern, empowered, American woman. And people wonder why I'm still single?

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I can't make this up. Until next time...

MarkyMark

5 comments:

John Rambo said...

What a stupid hypocritical bitch.

If a MAN hits another man, it is perfectly acceptable to hit him back. No one disputes this.

Now, since western women DEMANDED to be treated like men, it is SEXIST and discriminatory if we DO NOT HIT BACK A WOMAN WHO HITS US FIRST.

By NOT hitting her back, he was treating her differently than he would have treated a man. In short, he did NOT treat her as an equal.

It's time for real equality. A man OR A WOMAN hits you, you are perfectly fine to hit her back.

Zorro said...

A woman slapped me (thinking I was the guy who said she had a fat ass) while I was in a bar during college. I belted her, and she went down like a two dollar whore. Cops arrive. Long story short, everyone says she slapped me first, and then I belted her.

Self defense. And the cops walked out, leaving Ms. Precious Snowflake Cunty standing there, mouth agape, shaking while her puny brain tried to figure out how a man can hit a woman and actually call it self-defense.

That was over 30 years ago when I was in college. Women today are so fucking dumb they should be put on leashes and tied to parking meters.

Anonymous said...

Hypocritical, yes, but why "skank?"

Sophia said...

Dear Gods...violence, violence, everywhere! I've been groped in high school and college before (never been to a club or bar, they're not my taste) and never have I felt the need to actually inflict harm on someone for it. I have slapped a boy, but we were both 17 and he had slammed me up against a locker and repeatedly knee'd my clit...so he had it coming.

Yes, getting groped is a disgusting thing to have happen to you. It is a gross intrusion of personal space, and shows that you are not human in the eyes of the groper. But all you have to do is remove their hand, look them in the eye, tell them in a calm/controlled voice that any further touching will be immediately reported, and walk away. If you inflict harm...how are you any better than them?

Brilliand said...

Doesn't look too bad to me. Too little, too late, I guess, but it was the fallout of a misunderstanding, not any kind of malice.

By "the reason", she really means "the cause", and by "accidentally" she means "as a result of a misunderstanding".