I was reading an interesting post over @ Roosh's place about how working for the corporate world sucks. Since I've been there and done that, I KNOW how much it sucks! Everything he says in that post is true. However, that's not why I'm posting this.
No, I'm posting because one of the commenters, John Rambo, had an excellent comment about marriage; he talks about how much it sucks. Even though he seemed to get a decent woman, it still sucks for him. Since I'd like to help my boys, I'd like to pass this on to them; they need to know this stuff right here. I shall post my thoughts amongst John's as well. Enjoy...
@ erm, #27
“But I’d prefer to be happily married to a beautiful woman, with no fear of being cheated on, and faithful, and a dad. ”
Your first part is correct. I actually am married to a good girl, an Indian girl, who was raised in a village and has no connection or
conception with the evils of the modern western world.
There was a very very wise statement I once read from an Indian
spiritual leader. He said “A man who has never been married before
thinks that getting married will make him happy. While a man who is
married is thinking “Why didn’t I stay single, I could have stayed
Man, isn't THAT the truth! When I was a young man, I wanted so BADLY to be married! I wanted to have a righteous avenue for fulfilling my sexual desires (I was a Christian who took the tenets of his faith seriously); I wanted companionship; and I didn't want to be alone, let along grow old alone. I thought all the thoughts John Rambo thought when I was his age-all of them! Alas, it was not to be; it never worked out for me. However, God, by His grace, has let me see that I really, truly am better off as a single man; in so many ways, I am better off as a single man-so much so I wouldn't trade it for the world now!
Yesterday, I spent time putting new tires on the scooter. After doing that, I took her out for a ride to see how the new Pirellis were. I love them; they handle and ride so nicely! I also felt a sense of empowerment and accomplishment by doing my own work on my own ride. I spent two hours out and about yesterday just because I COULD. If married, I couldn't do that; I couldn't spend my time as I wished. Even if married to a good gal (all but impossible to find in Femerika), I couldn't do that. Why? Because it's no longer about me anymore; it's that simple.
It’s a real catch 22. If you’ve never been married before, you don’t
realize how boring and unsatisfying it is. But most men have to get
married to understand that reality.
Some of us don't though. Some of us have married guys TELL us we're not missing anything-even the happily married ones! That begs an obvious question though: if they're happily married, then why do they tell us single guys we're not missing anything?
In fact, I know a guy from work. He's the team leader of the department next to us. He dated and ultimately married a little, Latin cutie from Ecuador. When I ask him how married life is, he says it's good. HOWEVER-when he asked me some months ago when I was going to get married, and I cautiously answered that I wasn't in a rush to do so-he said good, don't! I never asked him about why he said that, but it validated my decision to remain single anyway.
If I had come in contact with the MRA movement just a few months
before I had, I probably would have given up on marriage entirely. See,
another trap is thinking that foreign women are better than western
women. Yes, they are, but even still I would not recommend marriage to
ANY kind of woman, foreign or western.
I'm glad he said this too. For the last year, I've been a member of the site, Latin American Cupid, and I've talked to some NICE women on there; this is especially true if they've never spent any time in America or learned any English. Even though I met a couple of nice women, women who I would have spent time with in my younger days, I decided not to follow through with the opportunities. Why? Because I don't want to change my life now, that's why! Even marrying the nicest gal in the world would necessitate changes that, at this point, I don't want to make in my life...
Marriage is fucking misery, any way you look at it. I’m honest enough
to admit that. A lot of married guys will never admit that.
It's hard to admit when one has made a mistake; this is DOUBLY true when making the biggest mistake of one's life! I can't think of a bigger mistake one can make than to get married these days...
I just wish I had waited a couple more years before even thinking
about marriage. By that time, I would have realized how pointless it is
and probably decided to never marry. So, cheers to all of the men who
ARE intelligent enough to never get married, guys like Roosh and so on.
I can't say it was intelligence on my part-at least no early on anyway. I wanted to get married as a younger man, but I never found the kind of gal for whom I'd be willing to do all that marriage requires a man to do. There are some big sacrifices in there! I was willing to make them and all, but I never found someone for WHOM I would be willing to make them; I could never find a gal worthy of making those sacrifices. I also knew that my choice of a wife could make or break me, and that gave me pause as well. Ergo, I never married as a young man.
As an older man, I will say that I'm intelligent enough to take pause, think, and look things over carefully before making any major decision. After all, the impetuosity of my youth got me into lots of trouble! I learned the hard way to 'look before you leap', as it were, so I do. Then, when I look at what marriage entails in the era of Marriage 2.0, I just say no thanks...
I’m a 28 year old guy, so if there’s any advice I would give to men under the age of 30, it is this:
Do NOT get married. Once you hit age 30 or so, you’ll realize how
fruitless the whole endeavour is, and then you will hopefully give up
all desire to ever get married. You may THINK that marriage will make
you happy, but it won’t. Even marriage to a super submissive humble
foreign girl. Otherwise, if you get married and then realize too late
that marriage is a trap for men, you’ll end up just like me. Drinking
his life away to a bottle of alcohol, trying to speed up his own death.
What is it that Christopher in Oregon ALWAYS says? If you can just hang on till 30, you'll be home free or on your way there. Why? Because that damnable sex drive starts to die out then! It was the great, Greek philosopher that once said when he lost his sex drive, he felt as if he'd been released from the clutches of a terrible beast. Amen!
That concludes this cautionary tale from John Rambo, and it concludes my commentary too. TGIS, Baby! Until next time...