Though I posted this three years ago, this is still relevant. The neighbors discussed here have since moved out, but their story and its points are still relevant today. Enjoy...
It's becoming more and more common; more and more, we're seeing households in which the wife is the primary breadwinner, and the husband stays home; more and more, wives are wearing the pants in the family; more and more, we're seeing a complete role reversal of the sexes.
I can think of at least two guys who fit that description. One is a coworker, though he's not in my department. The other is one of my new neighbors. My coworker, who I'll call Francisco, only works summers at my company. During the rest of the year, he stays home with the kids, while his wife teaches school in the area. Though he's a nice guy, I don't want to spend much time around him; something about his arrangment bothers me. I can't say why, but it bothers me nonetheless.
My neighbor, who I don't know well (in fact, I've only met him once and seen him in passing two or three times), apparently stays home with the kids. The couple next door have one car, and I've only seen the wife get in it to leave for work in the morning. Now, perhaps TJ (not his real name) works too, but I leave early; perhaps I don't see him leave. That said, I don't think he works.
Let me tell you what I've seen of that relationship. Sam Fryman, in his book, A Man's Liberation Guide to Women, made an astute observation. He said that all marriages will assume one of two dynamics: a father/daughter dynamic where the man is boss, or a mommy/son dynamic where the wife is boss. When I thought about what Mr. Fryman said, I concluded that he was right; after all, a lifetime of observation confirmed this.
Next door, TJ is definitely the little boy, while his wife is the stern mother. I've seen her speak to him in a most insulting and disrespectful manner. Perhaps that's because she does NOT respect TJ? I think so. Even though I've only observed one family with a 'Mr. Mom', even though the sample size is too small to be taken seriously, the 'Mr. Mom' thing is a feminist fantasy; it does not work! It's wicked, unnatural, emasculating, and I find it disgusting. I can't fancy our Lord God being pleased with it either-not when he commands WOMEN to be keepers of the home...
Even before I found out about men's issues, MGTOW, etc., I was always bothered by women being more successful than me; I could not have married a woman who earned more than I did, because I would have felt like a lesser man. Though I couldn't articulate WHY until recently, I would have been bothered by having a more successful wife. I think that I instinctively knew that, as a man, I had to be superior to my woman; I needed to be her hero; I needed to be someone she could admire and respect. How could a woman, being superior to her husband, admire and respect her husband? She can't, of course.
Having said all that, I have to wonder how can a man be Mr. Mom, and see nothing wrong with it? My coworker, Francisco, seems to be happy go lucky; he seems to love life and be happy. While I can't say the same for my neighbor, TJ, he doesn't seem to mind his arrangment much, either. WTF is wrong with these guys?! How can they not be bothered by something so unnatural?! Sorry, but I just don't get it. I couldn't live with myself if I were a Mr. Mom! How emasculating is that?!
If I were to marry, I'd have to be traditional all the way; otherwise, I couldn't do it. There are roles for men, and there are roles for women. They are-gasp-different! That's because men and women are-gasp-different themselves-duh! Men were meant to go out and bring home the bacon, while women were meant to fry it up. Sorry if that's not PC, but that's the way it is. It seems to me that, when we, as a society, adhered more to traditional sex roles, that we were happier, more well adjusted, and better off.
Those are my thoughts on this issue. Maybe some guys have no problem being 'Mr. Mom', but I'm not one of them. Mom is a sobriquet for women; it always has been, and it always will be. Women were meant to stay at home, not men. If you don't like it, then too bad. Some things just aren't right, and the 'Mr. Mom' thing is one of them. Until next time...