Here's another of my 'oldies but goodies'. Someone on Mancoat posted this, and I couldn't resist taking some pot shots at this POS MSN article. Any guy who's dumb enough to marry DESERVES whatever heartache and pain happen to him; yes, I mean all of it! Fellas, do yourselves a favor, and keep your balls. Whatever you do, DON'T GET MARRIED!! Once you do, it's 'curtains for ya'...
Seven Signs He's About to Propose
His apartment is clean, he's saving money, and Thursday night poker with the guys has turned into date night with you? Either your guy is coming down with something, or he's planning to pop the question. Read on for more telltale signs that he's ready to say "I do."
If he knew what was good for him, he'd be saying "I do NOT!" I do not give up my freedom! I do not give up my balls! I do not give up control of my wallet! I do NOT give up everything I love and enjoy for some ungrateful bitch! I do not give some American bitch control over my life! I do not become someone's slave! I do not!!!
1. He's Growing out of His Bachelor Ways
You can tell his bachelor days are behind him when his number one priority is no longer himself. If he's constantly using terms like "we" and "our," and plans for a weekend with the guys in Vegas are suddenly on the back burner while weekend picnics with you are becoming more common, he's probably not just sick of his buddies. He might've realized that he prefers a more settled lifestyle, and this transition puts him squarely on the path to proposing.
You mean he's getting ready to put his head in the noose, don't you, Darlin'?! Let's see if she keeps using 'we' and 'our' after the divorce, pal! And divorce you she will. Women file for divorce first 70% of the time, and you'd best remember that, Fellas.
You know how she'll use the word, 'our'? When she talks about appropriating and controlling your pay, dumb ass! What's hers is hers, and what's yours is 'ours'. Isn't it funny how THAT works when you get married? When she uses 'our', that's womanese for MINE; in effect, she's saying, "I own you and everything you have, pal!" Shoot, I remember hearing female colleagues BRAG about this; they were loud & proud in proclaiming "What's mine is mine, and what's his is mine!" Don't you forget it, either...
2. He's Redecorating
You may also notice certain items have disappeared from his pad, like his college posters and Star Wars memorabilia. Did he ditch that ugly brown chair for a nice new couch? It could be the start of major changes — your boyfriend is making room in his life for you, both physically and emotionally.
Cleaning up clutter and stuff != redecorating, okay?! And if he is redecorating, then it means he's already handed over his balls, since you'll be nagging him to change this, that, and everything else about him, his life, and his place. WTF can't you bitches leave us men alone, huh? Why do you insist on changing us?! Why can't you be happy with how you found us, hmmm? Again, this is a premature, self inflicted castration; don't do it! Guys, as long as you do not propose, you are in the driver's seat; you have the power, and you should keep it. Once you say those two words, "I do", then it's over for you...
3. He's Curbing Big Purchases
Has your boyfriend gone from big spender to scrooge? The plasma screen TV he'd been planning to buy isn't hanging over his mantel, and instead of buying rounds of drinks at happy hour after work, he's home cooking dinner. No, he's not training for Top Chef; he's started to eliminate frivolous spending to brace for a large down payment (on your ring). And it's not just the jewelry he's saving for — he may be putting away money now so that the two of you will be comfortable well into the future.
Let me ask a few pointed questions here, okay? Why can't SHE save for her own ring, hmmm? After all, women earn their own money today, don't they? Why does the guy have to buy a shiny, overpriced, piece of stone anyway? To symbolize his love? Oh please, that just means he's surrendered his balls, and has told the entire world that he has. He's also told the world that he is stupid, stupid, stupid!
As for saving money, that in and of itself doesn't mean he's getting ready to pop the question. Could it mean that, especially in today's economic environment, that a guy is preparing for the worst? Couldn't it mean that he's trying to brace for the reality that he's likely to lose his job? According to The Boston Globe, over one million men have lost their jobs in this recession, while 12, 000 more women are working. Looks like he's trying to play the odds to me.
Then, I have to wonder WHY a man would put off purchasing something HE wants prior to marriage. Why would he do that?! Once he's foolish enough to say those two, little words, "I do", then that's the LAST fun he'll ever have! He won't have the freedom to buy that ATV, big screen TV, that motorcycle, or that boat he always wanted-oh no. That's because it will no longer be his money; his money will be 'our' money. Once he says "I do", then he's effectively said "I don't" to anything and everything else he likes, enjoys, and wants. Once he says "I do", it's all about her. Sorry, but them's the facts...
4. He's Not Complaining About Weddings
While at a wedding together, it's more than just the usual eagerness for an open bar. He's not cracking jokes during the vow exchange — he's commenting on the couple's first-dance song choice and the meal selection. Take it as a sign that he's paying attention to all things wedding-related because matrimony is on his mind.
Why else would a guy go to a wedding, other than the open bar? Why? The only thing I could think of is to celebrate the demise of an enemy. What is a wedding, other than a woman's victory march over having subdued a slave for life, hmmm? You know why women want such grand weddings nowadays? Not only to 'one-up' their girlfriends, but to celebrate having gotten themselves their very own slave, that's why! Once you say "I do", you become her bitch, and Big Daddy Government is there to back her up and see to it that you're enslaved to her for as long as you're drawing breath. Whether you're with her or not, the State will make sure you work for her until you drop dead.
5. He's Taken an Interest in Your Jewelry
Has he been complimenting your great ability to accessorize? Snooping around in your jewelry box? Holding your hand, constantly? All kidding aside, when your favorite ring goes missing, you'll know for sure that he's trying to find a covert way to figure out your size.
WTF would a guy take an interest in her jewelry?! Why? Any guy who tries to purloin his beloved's favorite ring is a dummy! Why would he be in such a rush to surrender his freedom to some bitch who hates him as a man? Sorry, but when you're dealing with American women, the odds are that they hate you; that's what they've been taught their whole lives-to hate, fear, and suspect men. Why would you want to marry someone who hates you as a man? Why? Furthermore, why would you want to tip her off that you're willing to become her slave? When a woman sees her favorite ring missing, she's got to be jumping for joy, because she's about to have her very OWN man-slave.
6. He Wants to Meet the Parents
Okay, so he's probably already met your parents. If he hasn't and has become insistent on meeting them, it's probably for a good reason. But if he already knows them well and has become the first to RSVP for your nephew's birthday party, jumps at the chance for a weekend visit with your parents, or, even more telling, tries to plan outings for both your families to hang out together, he's ready for the next step.
Isn't love grand?! No doubt her family is ecstatic, because it means that they're about to unload a big, pain in the ass-their daughter! Why do you think that they had dowries in the old days? Why did fathers offer dowries to prospective grooms back in the day? Because they knew that they were unloading a liability, a pain in the ass, on the hapless man, that's why! They had to give him some compensation for the lifelong troubles and burdens he was about to assume. IOW, they had to make it worth his while to live with some shrew for life!
7. He's Acting out of Character
You know his daily routine inside and out, and any variation is enough to give you pause. If he's super-insistent that you guys do something you never do (like take a walk through a park or drive to a place to watch the sunset), he may be setting you up to speak those four little words: "Will you marry me?" After all that hard work, be sure to make it easy on him and say "yes!"
So, WTF is wrong with a guy doing something unusual, hmmm? I thought that today's enlightened, modern woman craved spontaneity. I thought that that was the appeal for the bad boys of the world; they're 'unpredictable and mysterious', aren't they?
But, is a guy wanting to marry REALLY out of character? Lawrence Shannon, in his book, The Predatory Female, says that slavery is the natural condition of man; he says that men can't handle freedom; he says that this is why, in spite of all the evidence out there that marriage is a sham, that men by the droves still seek to do it. By seeking marriage, they're seeking their own slavery; indeed, they're VOLUNTEERING for it! Is it really out of character for a man to willingly lay his balls on the chopping block, just so some bitch can proudly display them on her mantle or put them in her purse? I don't think so.
Oh, and Ladies, if a guy proposes to you, please do him a favor, and say 'no'! He may not understand what a bullet he's dodged now, but he will in the future, believe me.
Those are my thoughts on the seven stupid things a man does before enslaving himself, er getting married. Remember to give American women the husband they deserve-none! Have a good night...