There are movies that just ooze MGTOW; there are movies that embody the spirt of what MGTOW is, and what it is all about. One of those movies is Rudy, which was released in 1993. You can read more in the Wiki here.
For those who haven't seen it, Rudy is about a kid whose dream it was to play football at Notre Dame. The only problem is that Rudy was 5'6" (1.68m) tall, and weighed in at 165# (75kg)-small for a football player. Everyone told him that he couldn't do it; everyone said that his playing football at Notre Dame was out of the question for him. To make a long story short, Rudy not only attended Notre Dame; not only did he get a degree from there; he actually PLAYED on the team.
What lessons does Rudy have to teach MGTOW? While one may question whether or not wanting to play Notre Dame football is a worthy goal, Rudy's example provides many instructive life lessons for all of us; this is true for the MGHOW. I won't belabor you with all the plot details, but I'll be skipping all around, meaning that my points won't exactly coincide with the events of the movie in chronological order. I'll cite many examples and lessons the movie, Rudy, has for MGTOW. Some of these lessons are about friendship, pursuit of one's dreams, and women as dream killers.
One of the BIG lessons from Rudy deals with true, male friendship. Even though his family tells Rudy that he's crazy; that he cannot POSSIBLY hope to play Notre Dame football; Pete, his life long friend always believed in him; Pete always stuck up for his friend. Two examples come to my mind: the bar scene, when he calls out Rudy's brother, Frank; and when he gave Rudy the Notre Dame jacket.
In the local bar where the steel workers (and, by association, Rudy's brother and father) hang out, Frank got sick of hearing Rudy talk about Notre Dame. Frank, who's drunk at this point, calls Rudy names and puts down his younger brother. Pete, incensed by this, sticks up for Rudy. Pete gets in Frank's face, and tells him that if he'd had Rudy's heart, he could have been All Conference as a football player; he then said that Coach had called Frank a pussy. Frank wisely decided to back down at that point, and leave Rudy alone.
The next powerful example took place in the steel mill's lunch room. Pete and Rudy are reminiscing, talking about how fast the previous four years had gone by; they were trying to grapple with the fact that their lives were going to be as humdrum as those of their parents. During that lunch, Rudy thanked Pete for being a friend, and for being the only one who believed in him. Pete then gave him the Notre Dame jacket.
Soon after that, Pete got killed in an explosion. Rudy was shaken by the death of the one, true friend he'd had. He also, partly to honor Pete's memory, decided that it was now or never; if he didn't go to South Bend, IN (home of Notre Dame) then, he never would.
Now, at this point, I must back track to Rudy's childhood. Not only did he play football with his friends and older brothers (in spite of being the runt of the bunch!); he had a life long female friend and neighborhood girl, Sherry. Rudy and Sherry had grown up together as playmates and friends; one scene from the movie shows Rudy and Sherry as kids enjoying a Notre Dame game at Rudy's house. When they became older, they became boyfriend and girlfriend. Though there isn't a scene in the movie that showed him proposing to Sherry, the couple is shown looking at houses right before Pete's death; it was evident that they were engaged at this point, because they were looking at houses.
Here's one of the lessons I wish to deal with next. Though it was last on my list, it's easiest to deal with this now. Women are DREAM KILLERS, Gentlemen!
At some point, when Rudy has graduated HS and is working at the mill, he and Sherry looking at houses as a young couple. In front of one, Sherry says that the house is adorable, that they can afford it, and that they can do this (i.e. buy the house in which to raise their future family). Rudy, like any guy staring a huge decision and commitment in the face, is understandably reluctant. Sherry then grabs his arm, turns him towards her, and says something that's rather telling: "Hey Buddy, I've put in my time. You owe me!" What she was REALLY saying was this: I've waited long enough for you to play ball; I've waited long enough for you to do what I want; do what I want, or else!
Fast forwarding to Pete's death and funeral, Sherry and Rudy talk about their future. Rudy tearfully tells Sherry that he HAS to pursue his dream of attending college at Notre Dame; he has to do this both for personal reasons and to honor Pete's memory; he does his best to communicate to her that this is just something he MUST do. Sherry then says something else that's rather telling, something else that gives us insight into women: that, if he does this (i.e. leaves in pursuit of what she thinks is his foolish dream), then he'll have to do it alone; she will NOT be joining him. Rudy tearfully said that he knew that, yet much to his credit, that didn't stop him from leaving. Rudy, in spite of the prospect of losing Sherry, is resolute, and he's committed to leaving-a true MGHOW. I'll have more to say about Sherry later...
Before I go on to my next point, my mom watched Rudy with me during a recent visit earlier this summer. Though I've seen the movie many times, I never tire of watching it; it's such an uplifting, instructive movie (i.e. has many good life lessons) that I never tire of watching it. My mom was put off by Sherry's actions and demeanor, and she's a woman! My mom felt that Sherry was selfish, and that she was only out for what she wanted.
The final lesson that Rudy teaches us is this: to make big dreams come true, they must be pursued with SINGLE MINDED FOCUS; he did whatever it took! During the course of the movie Rudy is constantly evaluating decisions via one, simple, criterion: will it help me achieve my goals? Will it help me get in to Notre Dame, so I can have a shot at playing on the team there?
To this end, Rudy isn't shown dating in the movie. He helps his tutor, D-Bob (who became his friend), meet girls, but that's as far as it goes. Rudy simply didn't have the time, energy, or opportunity to date. He was either working, eating, practicing, or studying. When would he have had the time to date? Besides, girls would have gotten in the way of achieving his larger goal.
Another part of that single minded focus was the resourcefulness that Rudy showed in the film. Soon after he started working on the stadium ground crew, he discovered that there's a cot in the work room; it was for Fortune's sciatica. Since Rudy doesn't have a place to stay, he unlocks the window, so he can later get in and sleep that night. Soon thereafter, Fortune left him a key to the office, so he wouldn't have to break in anymore-ha!
That brings me back to the lesson of friendship. Fortune was clearly Rudy's friend. Though he was hard on the outside, he had a good heart on the inside. This was shown by the fact that he gave Rudy a key to the office. When Rudy went to thank him later, Fortune said he "didn't know NOTHIN' about it."
Another example of his friendship to Rudy is shown here. It's my favorite scene of the movie, really. Rudy was discouraged and wanted to quit. Fortune, being the good friend that he was, told Rudy what he NEEDED to hear vs. telling him what he wanted to hear; he gave Rudy a verbal kick in the ass, because he needed it. He also told Rudy about how he'd quit the team years before; how he still regretted it; and how Rudy would regret it if he quit. I get chills and tears every time I view that scene, because it's a fine example of good, male friendship.
In closing, Rudy, though it's a fun, feel good, and uplifting film, also has many lessons to teach us. One is that achieving a great goal takes single minded focus; anything that does not help one achieve said goal must be jettisoned from his life. Two, women are dream killers; if you marry one, you'll have to give up a lot of your dreams, since you won't have the time, energy, or opportunity to pursue them. Finally, Rudy shows us what good, male friendship is all about. If you've never seen it, please do so. You'll be glad you did! Until next time...