15 March 2012

How Women Are Like The Final Word


Do you remember a little, electronic toy that came out in the early 1990s? I believe it was called “The Final Word”. You’d press a button, and an insult would be uttered. Press the button again, and a different insult would be uttered. There were a few insults programmed into the device, and pressing the button would give you a different insult until you’d cycled through all the insults; once you’d gone through all the insults, pressing the button would start you off with the original insult. The insults were uttered in the most obnoxious voice imaginable! There were two versions of “The Final Word”: an ‘X’ rated version, and ‘G’ rated version. The ‘X’ rated version featured cuss words, whereas the ‘G’ rated version did not.

I’d forgotten about “The Final Word”until I was thinking about women and how they ALL use the same shaming language! Other bloggers have spoken about a common, female ‘hive mind’; others have wondered whether or not women operate under the aegis of some mother supercomputer; my own opinion was that they were programmed, a la the original “Terminator”, where you see Arnold’s cyborg brain throw some insults up, then select the response he’d utter. It doesn’t matter where you go; it doesn’t matter who the woman is who uses the shaming language; the remarks are ALWAYS the same-always the same! It reminded me of “The Final Word” when I thought about it, because they all use the same insults, and they don’t deviate from their ROM any more than that novelty box would. I mean, women and “The Final Word” operate in a similar manner, do they not?

If you’ll remember, the ‘X’ rated version of “The Final Word” would start off with, “F*&k you!” when you pressed the button the first time, followed by “Eat sh%t!” when the button was depressed the second time, and so on. There were a couple of more vulgar insults like that on that crazy little box, but I can’t remember them. When you’d gone through all the insults, you’d start off with the “FU!” again.

Women operate in the same way when they insult us. If you disagree with a woman, or even if you point out her BS hypocrisy, you will be insulted. Women cannot and will not admit defeat-especially to a man, who they consider to be untermenschen. Since they cannot counter your argument, women will insult you instead.

For example, if you point out women’s hypocrisy when they proclaim that they can do anything men can do, yet they want a man to change the water cooler, the standard canard is: “What’s the matter? You hate women?” If that doesn’t work, or if they use different shaming bit of language, then they’ll say, “What’s the matter, you have issues with mommy?” Still yet another bit of shaming language is “Boy, you need a girlfriend!” Still another favorite female insult is “What’s the matter, you can’t get laid?” If you’re not attracted to a woman who’s interested in you, she’ll ask, “What’s the matter, you gay?” I could go on, but you get my point. No matter where you go, and no matter who the woman is, the insults are ALWAYS the same! Women are much like “The Final Word” when you think about it. I find it almost comical, really.

Women cannot accept being wrong, especially if it’s a man pointing out this fact. They damn sure cannot accept defeat gracefully! Rather than just call it quits, or rather than address the issues you’ve raised, women will insult you. When they do, they’ll have a script they all follow; they all use the same insults-the same insults! It used to bother me back when I gave a damn about what women thought of me; now, I think I’d just laugh, then proceed to tear her apart. Much like that stupid little novelty box, “The Final Word”, women use a small, canned routine that has no originality whatsoever.


David Collard said...

I got a classic recently at my blog: "it's just you and your hand every night, isn't it?"

Might have been a woman or a mangina.

No, actually, I am happily married and I get the sex I want. Also, I don't masturbate for relgious reasons.

These losers just cannot imagine that anyone who disagrees with them could be doing OK.

Anonymous said...

others have wondered whether or not women operate under the aegis of some mother supercomputer

They are programmed by Nature the same as men are to behave in a certain way.
And any man who argues with a female is a fool just like he would be arguing with a child.And just like a child you have to sometimes just say "because I said so that's why" Otherwise there would be no end to the insane and irrational arguments.
"Johnny, I told you not to ride your bike in the street"
Why not?
Because it's dangerous.
But I'm careful and will watch for cars.
It's still dangerous.
(fill in another dozen kid arguments)
OK! Just don't do it because I said so and shutup!

Ping Jockey said...

"There were a couple of more vulgar insults like that on that crazy little box, but I can’t remember them."

The other two were "Fu*kin' jerk!" and "You're an a**hole!" -- I bought one of the X-rated ones at a Spencer's Gifts back in the early 90's (but I didn't even know that they had a G-rated one). I still have it somewhere, buried in a box with my other assorted electronic novelty gizmos.

You're right about arguing with women like those -- my sister was EXACTLY like that, even as a child. Stubborn and defiant, NEVER admitting she was wrong even when it was proven (refusing to even consider it), and hatefully jealous and envious of anyone else. (I finally cut off all contact with her in our 40's -- any phone call with her was endless hateful negativity and complaining.)

And you are SO right about women who cannot admit that they are wrong or have wrong assumptions and go right to the shaming language ad-hominem insults. I've found that the best way to blow them off is to return stinging replies and then to turn your back and walk away.
Examples --
"You must have mommy issues!"
"No, no mommy issues -- she's dead."

"Boy, you need a girlfriend!"
"Like I need a dose of clap!"

"You need to get laid!"
"I don't need a false rape accusation!"

"You just hate women!"
"No, but I understand why some guys do!"

"What's the matter, are you gay?"
"No, but with women like you, I can understand why some guys are!"

...You get the idea.

Women can't stand it when their shaming language not only has no effect -- but it gets a 'Final Word' right back at them!

"I don't think you should be violent with women -- I don't like hitting them, or slapping them around.
I understand what turns Mr. Hand into Mr. Fist!"
-- Sam Kinison

Anonymous said...

It's like a fisherman being angry the bass ain't biting no mo.

Ah well there are still lots
of non-nice-guys doing the approaches.

The gals will just have to get used to not having those nice-guys around anymore.

Should be no loss at all,right?

(snickers into cuff)

Charles said...

At our office all you need to do with the water cooler is lift the lid, get a medium sized jug and refill. Even a woman could do it. Do they? In the 1.5 years at this office not ONCE has a woman, even the pimply faced juniors managed to perform this task. They drink from it but they can't fill it. Woman are simply parasites. Their productivity is low and they take triple the sick leave a male does in our office. We replaced the female receptionist with a male receptionist and quite frankly he gets through over 3 times as much work as the females before him and does it with a smile. Now to replace the rest of the culls.