About three years ago, I received this e-mail upon my return from a weekend at my mom's. The writer, who I'll call Greg, said it was up to me what I did with his message, so I'm publishing it. The writer's name has been changed for reasons that will become apparent as you read it.
BTW, I am not unmarried because I am wise; I'm not. I'm unmarried solely by the grace of God. I WANTED to be married, but I was never that successful with women. They didn't ignore me, but I was never a threat to become the next Casanova, either. My present single status is more by God's grace than it is by any smarts I may or may not possess.
Without any further ado, let's read Greg's e-mail to me. You'll find it to be quite sobering and enlightening all at the same time...
I am a long time lurker on your site and have read many of your comments and blog posts. I respect the fact that you have never been married and have no plans to do so and I wish I had been so wise. I am writing you to let you know what one man had to pay for freedom and hopefully share the true cost of same with you. Its up to you what you do with this story. Anyway as you probably get a lot of these I'll try to mark the highlights and skip a lot of the extraneous junk...
I'm a deadbeat dad!!! (light your torches - gasoline in 89, 91, and 95 octane is available in your choice of containers). Yep, I've got three kids and I'm behind on my child kidnapping payments by probably 10 grand at present and considerably more behind on alimony and her lawyer fees. I skipped the country rather than be jailed for all of the above compounding my crimes. A runaway slave is the worst kind of slave - one that absolutely refuses to serve his massa. My reasons were simple... if the state forces me not to be a father than I will not pretend to be one. I will certainly not pay 75% of my take home pay to someone who hates me and actively tries to have me jailed every single day under threat of violence. Since I can't see my children anyway, it became a choice of not seeing them from jail or not seeing them from where I am now. The choice wasn't all that hard. It is my hope that as things get worse in the US, more men will make this move. The rest of the world is very unwelcoming to such as I and you take a great many risks that most men simply do not have the balls to take. Oh well. My only advice - have a job lined up and remember that working for peanuts in a third world country is better than living as a slave in a first world country.
Snippets of advice for those who jump ship:
*Most of the world doesn't even realize that county "family" court even exists, much less the real implications of same. Your "civil" violations won't mean jack shit to places like Cambodia, Chile, Brazil, United Arab Emirates, Vietnam, Russia, China, etc., so shut up, stop whining, and live. The cops of Paraguay don't care your nation labels you a deadbeat.
*You won't be able to renew your passport, so treat as you would your heart in a jar. If you lose it or it gets damaged you're dead, period.
*Women from around the world look better than anything back in the states, cost less unless you're totally stupid, and are much more easily disposed of.
*Before any man gets into a relationship with a woman in the US, have him travel to Manila, Pattaya, Rio, or someplace else for a full month. See the women there. Have several. It will change the way you view American women *forever*.
*Get a teaching certificate or such. CELTA, PGCE, or such so you can teach English. Whatever paper pushing job you do now won't be in demand in the third world country, but your ability to speak English will be. If you are a tradesmen such as a plumber, electrician, etc., cheaper folk do your job so forget it - get the CELTA. If you are programmer who works from home - great - have the money you make target accounts in a foreign bank and work for a company abroad. If you can swing it somehow to make 1st world wages in a place like Thailand or Brazil, you are king. If you are a pilot or professional diver - what the heck are doing living in the US? Get out, live, earn all your money tax free, and expat already!!!
*Internalize "Who the fuck cares". Consider that your being jailed is inevitable (and it is as long as the United States is a living, breathing country). You'll get sick, you'll lose your passport, you'll run out of money, something. Internalize it, know it, and get over it. Freedom is in the mind; there are plenty of prisoners who walk around "free" every day of their lives, and plenty of prisoners who are freer than them. Personally, I'd rather be in jail than married to a American woman again.
"Freedom from servitude comes not from violent action, but from the refusal to serve. Tyrants fall when the people withdraw their support." - Boétie
Powerful stuff, wasn't it? I thought so, which is why I posted it. Until next time...