22 July 2013

A Great Joke


My buddy, Wayne (not his real name; I never use real name on here), is a happy bachelor going his own way, as is our mutual friend, Freddie.  Anyway, Wayne had a joke that made us laugh our asses off!  Here is is...

Q: What has four wheels and costs more than a Ferrari?
A: A baby carriage-ha!

It's true, too.  Once you factor in all the costs of raising kids, a baby carriage IS more expensive than a Ferrari.  They say that the cost of raising a kid, even done on the cheap, is around $250k; once you factor in college, a car, and other stuff, you're getting in striking distance of half a million dollars!  Compare that to 2012 Ferrari prices here, and you will indeed see that the joke proves the old, pithy maxim: to be effective and funny, humor has to be rooted in truth.  The truth of the matter is that a baby carriage IS more expensive than a Ferrari...



Anonymous said...

It is hard to say if those cost figures for a child are correct or not. I suspect they are not. Women at times have posted on men's boards, saying it simply does not cost that much to raise a child unless you want to voluntarily spend that kind of money. "Nothing but the best for MY baby." You can spent a couple thousand for a fancy baby crib, or buy a used one for $25 from Craiglist and repaint it. (Remember when the bills come due, it's your baby. The rest of the time, such as when you want to see it, it's hers.)

Does your ten year old have the latest version of the ipad? Well, gosh, they cost a lot but you don't need to spend that much on a kid. Nor should you. In all history, kids prefer time with dad to expensive toys.

I suspect those gigantic figures are the bogus figures used to calculate child support guidelines, to maximize the amounts extracted from obedient male slaves.

I will give some examples we found in the past when I was counseling men. I have no idea what rentals cost any more, but especially in large cities. There are still small towns where $700 a month will rent a very nice place, even a whole house with an acre around it, if you move outside the city limit.

But, for example only, let us assume a one bedroom apartment might cost an imaginary $600 a month. So, a woman living alone would spend $600 a month on housing.

Now, suppose she has a child and you are the culprit. A two bedroom apartment might cost $800 a month. So, the incremental housing cost for that child would be $200 a month. And, your half would be $100. That is how cost accounting is done everywhere else. It's called incremental accounting.

The c/s fiends say, um, housing for two is $800 divided by two, cost of housing for child is $400. Your half is $200. You get stuck with all of it, and she whines how shabbily she is treated by the evil deadbeat, You.

Now, transportation. As a single slut, she drives a lot chasing the mighty alphas, Again no idea of annual costs for transportation, let me guess $5000. If she has a luxury wagon, it goes up.

She has a child, isn't running so much, cost of transportation still $5000.

Your half is $2500. Yet, her incremental costs did not go up, may have gone down.

It's that way across the board.

You can bet if women were paying most child support, they would be using incremental costs. But, as much as I hate to say it, most men are stupid so we let them get away with it.

However, your point is still correct. If you are paying child support, you will be paying the big figures, even if it actually constitutes support for mom.

Anonymous age 71

Mrs. Anna T said...

I started to post a comment, but then it was lost... however, Anon age 71 covered the point I wanted to make, and very admirably! Yes, raising children doesn't have to cost a lot. Consider us; as parents of young children, we have never had expenses of daycare (I stay home with them), no formula (I breastfed), got lots of hand-me-downs (the crib was free, hardly ever had to buy clothes for these past 4.5 years!), our family outings are to places which are free, or cost very little (the beach, parks, etc); we live out in the country, pay very low rent, have only one car, grow/gather part of our own food, cook from scratch, and generally try to live a simple life. So, yes, I suspect those figures of "average" costs are hugely overblown.

Oh, and just sayin' - I never got a car as a gift; neither did my husband or any of his brothers or sisters. We were all also expected to support ourselves through college, at least partially. A college student is an *adult*; parents need not support their adult children if it's a burden to them.

Of course, having a family *will* cost you *some* money, as opposed to living alone, but I can't think of a better investment of time, money and resources than to raise a real, loving, close-knit, good family.

Anonymous said...

Not sure where Anon 71 & Anna shop

But raising a kid takes insane amounts of cash

Factor in college, clothes food, mortgage

Plus you have to pay for the wife, & the kid

As women refuse to do jackshit if they get pregnant

Basically another adult female child, & an infant

If I want kids, i'm ditching the mother no way in hell am I paying for someone who refuses to get off her lazy ass & pay for her own kids

If a kid comes out of your womb, get off your lazy ass & pay for it

handbanana said...

food should be at least $80 a month. x12 months x18 years. this is not optional.

diapers for the first 2-5 years (girls wet the bed a lot more often than boys). how much do those cost? I have no idea.

forget about thrift shopping for kids clothes. you're GOING to need some new ones at some point, and it has nothing to do with fashion. I won't even pretend to know how much that would be a year, but it's not gonna be cheap.

medicine is not optional. babies will get sick, and you will absolutely need to treat them ASAP or they can suffer permanent health risks or die.

school events. allowances. birthdays. christmas. various other random holidays. major video game releases. major technology releases (they're always progressing).

that's just the stuff you are absolutely certain to pay for at one point or another. will you pay for their first car? will you pay for their college? will you help them find a new place to live?

Mrs. Anna T said...

"Not sure where Anon 71 & Anna shop" - outside the US :o)

"raising a kid takes insane amounts of cash" - don't want to sound argumentative, but no, it does not.

"college, clothes food, mortgage" - as I said, college "kids" are actually adults. Let them pay for their own education like we did. Mortgage doesn't have much to do with kids; if you are bent on living cheaply, and scrimping and saving to have the roof above your head free and clear, you might as well do this with kids as without.

"women refuse to do jackshit if they get pregnant" - not sure what that means, but I remember myself at 9 months pregnant chasing (and catching!) escaped rabbits.

"forget about thrift shopping for kids clothes. you're GOING to need some new ones at some point" - perhaps; we do buy them new underwear, socks, basic shirts, etc. We also thrift shop a lot; not just for our kids, but for ourselves. Why wouldn't we? But see, for us shopping is a necessity; for most people, it's a pastime, which is why the "needs" for new clothes are hugely overblown.

"babies will get sick" - why so pessimistic? Mine never did. We do have a medical insurance for the whole family, but as we are generally healthy, it doesn't cost a lot.

"school events" - we homeschool; "allowances" - a purely Western habit; neither my husband nor I ever had a regular allowance. The kid wants allowance? Let him do chores in return.
"birthdays" - cake and balloons. And that is more than either of the kids in my husband's family got when they were growing up. Birthdays just weren't celebrated (another Western custom, same as a diamond ring for engagement - we didn't have that either). "christmas" - we're Jewish.
"various other random holidays" - no extraordinary expenses for us; nothing but a special dinner, or a few meals, together as a family, perhaps with a guest or two.
"major video game releases" - we don't even watch TV.
"major technology releases" - same as above.

"will you pay for their first car?"
No; no one paid for ours.
"will you pay for their college?" No; no one paid for ours.
"will you help them find a new place to live?"
Help to find, yes. Pay, no. A far better way is to equip a young adult with skills and responsibility enough to earn and save money, and/or build their own inexpensive home.

As you can perceive from my reply, we just come from very (VERY) different lifestyles. A "must" for someone is a ridiculous, absolutely unnecessary luxury for someone else.

If your goal is to prove having kids is too expensive to be worthwhile, you might just be able to prove it. But if your goal is to raise a family as inexpensively as possible, it might be done as well.

Mrs. Anna T said...

Not to sound very critical, but overall it seems to me that in the Western, and especially American culture, all life events which can be celebrated with quiet moderation and simple pleasure - weddings, birthdays, holidays, family vacations - are blown up into some enormous glittering commercialized Hollywood-inspired rallies which cater to the extravagant taste of a chiefly female audience. But there *are* people who want to live a peaceful, quiet, rational, balanced, debt-free, simple life, and do it quite successfully, bringing up fine families, and much better-behaved children than those who supposedly had been given "everything"; that is, everything but discipline, moderation, and the value of hard work and money.

SN said...

"If your goal is to prove having kids is too expensive to be worthwhile, you might just be able to prove it. But if your goal is to raise a family as inexpensively as possible, it might be done as well."

I agree...and you all are MISSING
THE POINT...your WIFE will NOT
allow such rationality. I get to
listen to this stuff all day at
the Fortune 500 company I work at.
Cupcake only accepts top notch
and nothing less.