About three years ago, I received this e-mail upon my return from a weekend at my mom's. The writer, who I'll call Greg, said it was up to me what I did with his message, so I'm publishing it. The writer's name has been changed for reasons that will become apparent as you read it.
BTW, I am not unmarried because I am wise; I'm not. I'm unmarried solely by the grace of God. I WANTED to be married, but I was never that successful with women. They didn't ignore me, but I was never a threat to become the next Casanova, either. My present single status is more by God's grace than it is by any smarts I may or may not possess.
Without any further ado, let's read Greg's e-mail to me. You'll find it to be quite sobering and enlightening all at the same time...
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Hi MarkyMark,
I am a long time lurker on your site and have read many of your comments and blog posts. I respect the fact that you have never been married and have no plans to do so and I wish I had been so wise. I am writing you to let you know what one man had to pay for freedom and hopefully share the true cost of same with you. Its up to you what you do with this story. Anyway as you probably get a lot of these I'll try to mark the highlights and skip a lot of the extraneous junk...
I'm a deadbeat dad!!! (light your torches - gasoline in 89, 91, and 95 octane is available in your choice of containers). Yep, I've got three kids and I'm behind on my child kidnapping payments by probably 10 grand at present and considerably more behind on alimony and her lawyer fees. I skipped the country rather than be jailed for all of the above compounding my crimes. A runaway slave is the worst kind of slave - one that absolutely refuses to serve his massa. My reasons were simple... if the state forces me not to be a father than I will not pretend to be one. I will certainly not pay 75% of my take home pay to someone who hates me and actively tries to have me jailed every single day under threat of violence. Since I can't see my children anyway, it became a choice of not seeing them from jail or not seeing them from where I am now. The choice wasn't all that hard. It is my hope that as things get worse in the US, more men will make this move. The rest of the world is very unwelcoming to such as I and you take a great many risks that most men simply do not have the balls to take. Oh well. My only advice - have a job lined up and remember that working for peanuts in a third world country is better than living as a slave in a first world country.
Snippets of advice for those who jump ship:
*Most of the world doesn't even realize that county "family" court even exists, much less the real implications of same. Your "civil" violations won't mean jack shit to places like Cambodia, Chile, Brazil, United Arab Emirates, Vietnam, Russia, China, etc., so shut up, stop whining, and live. The cops of Paraguay don't care your nation labels you a deadbeat.
*You won't be able to renew your passport, so treat as you would your heart in a jar. If you lose it or it gets damaged you're dead, period.
*Women from around the world look better than anything back in the states, cost less unless you're totally stupid, and are much more easily disposed of.
*Before any man gets into a relationship with a woman in the US, have him travel to Manila, Pattaya, Rio, or someplace else for a full month. See the women there. Have several. It will change the way you view American women *forever*.
*Get a teaching certificate or such. CELTA, PGCE, or such so you can teach English. Whatever paper pushing job you do now won't be in demand in the third world country, but your ability to speak English will be. If you are a tradesmen such as a plumber, electrician, etc., cheaper folk do your job so forget it - get the CELTA. If you are programmer who works from home - great - have the money you make target accounts in a foreign bank and work for a company abroad. If you can swing it somehow to make 1st world wages in a place like Thailand or Brazil, you are king. If you are a pilot or professional diver - what the heck are doing living in the US? Get out, live, earn all your money tax free, and expat already!!!
*Internalize "Who the fuck cares". Consider that your being jailed is inevitable (and it is as long as the United States is a living, breathing country). You'll get sick, you'll lose your passport, you'll run out of money, something. Internalize it, know it, and get over it. Freedom is in the mind; there are plenty of prisoners who walk around "free" every day of their lives, and plenty of prisoners who are freer than them. Personally, I'd rather be in jail than married to a American woman again.
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"Freedom from servitude comes not from violent action, but from the refusal to serve. Tyrants fall when the people withdraw their support." - Boétie
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Powerful stuff, wasn't it? I thought so, which is why I posted it. Until next time...
MarkyMark
13 comments:
The expired passport is a major problem. One MRA says there are places one can buy passports from various countries, but you gotta' do it before your US passport expires.
Anonymous age 69
great story
How is that guy doing? Can you email him for an update? It would be great to know if he has confirmed, changed or modified his views. Maybe he has discovered nuances that we don't know of. Good luck to him.
Passports are good for 10 years so if you're planning anything just renew it well in advance even if there are a few years left on it.
When you think of what options are open to a guy like this, it's an outrage. He can:
a) go to debtors prison
b) go ballistic and kill his wife and/or himself.
c) expat
There is no option "d) pay up" as the feminists and manginas would insist because the amount levied is not just.
This is why I'm moving to Israel before I even have kids. If you are Jewish or have any Jewish blood up to 2 generations back you can get your citizenship there and they are very hesitant to extradite for minor things.
Marry a nutcase, get her to pop 3 children and then whine about how it's society's fault. Get a vasectomy dude (I did), you are ruining your kids' lives by not understanding the consequences of your actions. Yes, it sucks, but we know the consequences of marrying and having kids with a crazy bitch. No one forced you.
^ What about the woman who goes crazy AFTER having kids?
Does she still get the "you knew she was a crazy bitch" pass?
Many women are great actors, many deceive the men they marry that their marriage vows hold water.
I feel this guys pain about getting shafted for child support, I really do. But he just abandoned his kids. I remember when my folks got divorced, my dad paid child support, and I know he didn't like it (as he told me when I got older) but if he had taken off that would have been ever worse for us. Especially as we all got older, we all needed a father. This guy is scum. You don't abandon your children, no matter what.
This is why I'm moving to Israel before I even have kids
What good will that do? They're just as spoiled there.
You don't abandon your children, no matter what.
The thing is, the system forced him into it. If he wanted to be a father he would not be allowed to. Yes, there is a moral dilemma here. But things have gotten to the point in this wasteland where large enough numbers of men have to opt out and bring it all crashing down.
"This guy is scum. You don't abandon your children, no matter what."
Okay, let's work from this premise.
Everyone familiar with the story of the Scarlet Letter? A different take, below.
Now, let's say. This guy is a man with a judgement against him. Messy divorce, he's made out to be scum. Cost him his earlier job, and now, in the middle of a recession, he is working to pay the penalty from "imputed income" which means, they "think he has a job and can pay that penalty to the rate of his salary", while he's unemployed.
But he does this for the good of the children.
Until he can't anymore.
Prison time for him.
So ... now his kids are known as "jailbirds kids".
School, a great place to learn about relational aggression firsthand.
What are the odds, the kids at this point, gets their minds bent out of shape by bullying in school?
I'm not saying men have no responsibility to their kids.
I am saying, they have a responsibility only to the EXTENT THEY CAN HONOUR IT.
Until and unless a way can be found for the money to reach the children WITHOUT passing through the hands of a bitter ex-wife, and the judgements reflect REAL economic conditions of responsible spending,
I don't think the whole unfair story of "deadbeat dad" or "jailbird dad" will end.
Rather than getting angry about men for the circumstance of not being able to indefinitely pay "imputed income" ...
why aren't the women being questioned about how the money is being spent?
Yes, I know there are REAL BAD CASES out there ... but most men try to do right, until they get PUNISHED for doing so (e.g., you pay the child support, but not to the rate of your imputed income, but it's a reasonable figure based on what you can set aside while keeping body and soul together with the rest. I hate writing all these long qualifiers that reasonable people should be able to do without).
You visit your mom??? But she's...she's....an American woman!!!
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